“Better is the end of a thing than its beginning; and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.” Ecclesiastes 7:8 RSV
I recently navigated a tough season of life. Let me rephrase—I’m still navigating—with one oar and a leak in the boat.
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” ~Nelson Mandela
Have you ever been there? At the bottom looking up? It’s not as if you believe God has abandoned you, it’s just that…
Okay, so maybe you don’t feel that way, but I struggled to hear from God. If He wasn’t going to show up, then why should I?
Bad idea. BAD idea.
My situation felt daunting. My boat had capsized, and I was struggling to hold on. I didn’t have the strength to swim or to upright my boat.
“I’m not capable of this, God.”
So many doubts and fears surfaced from the depths. My abilities felt non-existent, and the desire to throw in the towel crossed my mind more than once. It had nothing to do with writing. It was personal. So personal there wasn’t an option to quit. I needed to persevere.
Perseverance is finishing what you started. Working at it until it’s resolved or completed. I didn’t like that answer from the dictionary. I also didn’t like what the Bible had to say. God’s word speaks often about pressing on, being steadfast, being committed, and not quitting.
“You need to keep on patiently doing God’s will if you want him to do for you all that he has promised.” -Hebrews 10:36 (TLB)
“Whatever you do [whatever your task may be], work from the soul [that is, put in your very best effort], as [something done] for the Lord and not for men, knowing [with all certainty] that it is from the Lord [not from men] that you will receive the inheritance which is your [greatest] reward. It is the Lord Christ whom you [actually] serve.” -Colossians 3:23-24 (AMP)
Those verses made me feel like I didn’t measure up. I felt alone. No other Christian would understand. They had it all together.
Never believe that lie.
Sometimes Christian music reaches me when nothing else can. Jordan Smith’s song “Don’t Quit” touched me and reminded me that I am not the only one to go through this.
In the song, Jordan reminds us even the King of Kings fell to His knees and was desperate to be free from what He knew needed to be done.
So, I didn’t quit. I persevered. I kept showing up for my prayer time, changed up how I was doing devotions to be more personal than performing an act of service, and took some time to be quiet.
Guess what? God had been there all along. He was giving me an opportunity to show my dedication, determination, and steadfastness to remain true to Him. He wanted to see if I would persevere through the trial and trust Him to still be there in the end.
“Our motto must continue to be perseverance. And ultimately, I trust the Almighty will crown our efforts with success.” ~William Wilberforce
My situation is not over. Neither is my journey of growth. But I do not wonder if God is present. Psalm 139:7-12 is proof.
Does any of this resonate, or am I the only one? I’d love to hear from you and pray for you. Please leave me a note in the comments below.
Heidi Gray McGill 